Monday, July 30, 2012

Incoming

     And, now, folks it’s time for another episode of Trash that Movie, where I spew out a one or two-sentence Pre-Review before I’ve seen the movie. Yes, I know, it’s not fair, but it sure is a lot of fun. Here we go.
     So, I thought I’d take a quick meander through a couple of web sites that show us about upcoming movies and whether I need to Duck and Cover or make my way to the nearest moving picture show. Here’s a sampling of what we have to look forward to (or not):
· Celeste and Jesse Forever -- directed, acted in, and produced by a Lot of People I don’t know, except for a Hobbit, it seems to be this year’s When Harry Re-Met Sally (Again).
· The Babymakers – More people I don’t know who can’t have kids, and they’re planning a sperm bank heist. Nope.
     Okay, that’s a sample of two that are coming out in the next couple of months that I will absolutely not waste good popcorn on. What else we got?
     Looks like August is the month of The movies – The Campaign, The Awakening, The Day…. Let’s see what The Victim is about.
· The Victim – Michael Biehn stands in the center of the poster, big axe in his hands, apparently protecting two attractive, skimpily-clad young women standing behind him. Let’s see… axe, in the woods, lots of blood, possibly some nudity, maybe sex. Nah, this one has never been done before. I know who the victims are here, and it’s no one in the movie.
· Flying Swords of Dragon Gate – Yes, Weedeater, it is time for another chapter of Leaping Frog, Running Lizard. Haven’t even checked out the plot yet, but I’m betting there’s a whole lot of treetop-level wireline flying monkey stuff. Probably a couple of rivals teaming up, maybe a princess, and, oh, I don’t know, how about a Forbidden City. Haven’t seen an old blind master for a while, maybe they’ll throw one in. Tell me if I’m wrong.
     Okay, well, that sure was fun. Now, please understand that I have nothing against these movies (well, at least I have nothing against some of these movies). And, I might even see one of them. Maybe. I have not seen these films, and perhaps you really want to see them. Which is cool. It’s just that you won’t see me there. Except at Celeste and Jesse Forever, which sounds like a really great movie. No, really, it does (no, I did not just snicker). Really.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Alien Movies

What is it with goo and aliens? Seems like whenever some sort of alien critter gets shot or crushed, they splatter like, well, bugs. Did Hollywood get a deal on buckets of slime and just decide, "Hey, look at this. Let's make all our aliens gooey from now on."

The title critter in Alien doesn't just ooze out goo, it sprays it out like a busted faucet. Plus, it's not just goo, it's acid goo. So, about the time you realize you're all covered with the funk, then you're melting.

And, it doesn't always stay confined inside their bodies whey they're just out for an alien stroll. Nope, they leave behind a trail of slime like a giant slug.

Even going back to the original Blob with Steve McQueen, the blob (not sure if I should capitalize it or not -- just don't know how I'd address it/him/her if I met it out somewhere. Would it just be, "Hey, blob!", or "Hi, Mr. Blob!"), is just one big mass of slime. Then there's The Green Slime. And, when I was watching the first part of District 9 the other day, the aliens in there look like giant cockroaches. I'm sure they're just nothing but slime inside. I'm sure when I watch the rest of the movie there'll be alien slime all over the place.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Random Thoughts

Just out of curiosity, I hit the Guide button on my remote control for the DVR.  There is a channel 2500.

So, I pressed it and it went black.  Hmm, maybe that's reserved as a channel for the aliens to contact us on.

But, what about all the channels from 1000 to 2499?

Welcome

Welcome one and all.  You have come to a place where we will celebrate film and TV from the earliest experimental days of moving pictures to the latest developments in TV and the movies.

Film is our history, our mythology, and we shall explore it all, from the best to the worst.

As I build this blog, please comment on what you like and what you don't.  Correct me if you see a mistake.

And now, let's open the curtains, turn down the lights, and enter a magical time and place.

I hope you enjoy the show.


"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!" -- Oliver Hardy
from Sons of the Desert (1933)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Alien Movies

District 9.  One of the latest of the batch of films where they try to give it that documentary-style feel.  I've been trying to watch it while building my blog, so I haven't really focused on it.  Gonna have to DVR it and watch it later.

Not too much shaky-cam, but it has a lot of quick camera shots.  Appears to be sort of an updated version of Alien Nation -- critters from out there that are kept in a compound here on terra firma.  Sort of an alien ghetto.

Uh oh.  Looks like our human intermediary drank some bad bug juice that the critters concocted, and he's going through a wicked transformation sequence.