Zombies Have Taken Over

We interrupt this blog for a few words from our sponsors. Zombies have been sighted recently, and they want to revamp the site. Don’t know if a revamp is the same as a vamp or even a vampire, or why the zombies should care, but they are holding the site hostage until I make some changes. Please stay tuned for further developments.

The zombies inform me the site will be back in operation in two weeks.  And, if we believe the zombies, that will be March 4th, 2013.

 

'til next time... Adios.

Monkeying Around

Let's have a look-see at the Monkey List, shall we? I'm beginning to see just how needed this list is. There's no comprehensive Monkey Catalog out there that I can find. That can't be. We must know our monkeys!

Not sure yet how best to organize the Monkey List. For the moment, I'll just throw it in a post, unless it gets too bulky.

Oh, and a hearty Monkey Thank You to my readers out there who have contributed their monkey suggestions.  Here we go:

The Ape Man (1943) -- Bela Lugosi as Dr. James Brewster, a not-really-mad-but-slightly-peevish scientist who gets bored and decides to turn himself into a monkey. Doc Brewster shares living space in a cage with an actual ape played by gorilla actor Emil Van Horn. There's Mayhem! There's Murder! And, there's Monkey Business!

King Kong (1933) -- The most famous of the monkey movies.

Planet of the Apes (1968) -- "Human see, human do."

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) -- Wonder if the ape actors in 2001 also got work in Planet of the Apes?

Planet of the Apes (2001) -- Good the first time around, not so good the second.

Bedtime for Bonzo (1951) -- Who learned from who?

Mighty Joe Young (1949) -- King Kong lite. Who hasn't wanted his or her own big monkey as a friend?  Irene "Granny" Ryan has a bit part.

Mighty Joe Young (1998) -- Hollywood's remake fever. Same story, more effects.

Space Chimps (2008) -- According to IMDb, a team of astronaut chimps must rid "...a far-away planet of their nefarious leader." I love anything that has the word 'nefarious' describing it.

Son of Kong (1933) -- Carl Denham is back from King Kong, but without Fay Wray. The King's son, a chimp off the old block (I have no shame), monkeys around.

Kingu Kongu tai Gojira -- King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) -- The Toho Company and RKO join forces to pit Big Green and the Big Ape against each other in a knockdown-dragout.

That's about all the monkeying around I have time for tonight. I will leave everyone with this question, though. Have there been any zombie monkey movies? Zombies. Monkeys. Seems like a great combo.

'til next time... Adios.

Resistance is Futile

Got to love this new age of tech. An era when we can have near-immediate access to videos and audio of a huge chunk of space rock blasting through the atmosphere, and also get updates on fake zombies via the hacked Emergency Broadcast System.

Oh, yeah, and let's not forget the Poop Ship.

Makes me wonder what's gonna happen next. Alien landings, perhaps?

That's all I have for tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow. More stuff on its way.

'til next time... Adios.

Weather R Us

I love watching the Weather Channel People when there’s the possibility, no matter how remote, of some sort of Event. They’re like kittens out there, playing in the snow. Except there’s no snow. Yet. But, they assure us there will be, standing out there, all dressed alike in their L. L. Bean jackets, with their little designer rulers and yardsticks.

It wasn't always like this, though.

Once upon a time, many ages ago before The Weather Channel, we had to turn to each other for weather entertainment. “What about that big storm last night, huh, Bert?” “Yep, sure was a big one.” “Uh huh, sure was.” It’s a wonder we ever got out of bed every morning. There was no drama, no excitement, and no fun. But not anymore. No sirree. With TWC (I’m going ahead and acronyming – the term for changing a perfectly functional and descriptive name to an annoyingly vague abbreviation – The Weather Channel, to stay ahead of the curve, following the examples of TLC (formerly known as The Learning Channel)), if there’s no exciting weather, they’ll whip some up.

Here's what happened.

At some point, they thought, “Huh! We’re all out here, all excited for some really nasty weather, and nothing’s happening.” That's when they saw the future. “Hey, so what if nothing’s happening now. We can talk about what would happen IF…..” And, thus, was born, weather fiction.

(... to be continued)

'til next time... Adios.

Stupid Tech Tricks

Okay, they made this one easy for me. You’ve heard the old saying about turkeys standing in the rain and drowning. Well… that’s a perfect lead-in to a new piece of tech, or rather, a tech accessory, called the Brolly.

First things first, though. The name itself, Brolly, already sounds like something a first-grader would come up with. The thing looks like a set of brass knuckles, and it's designed to let you hold your umbrella and text at the same time. In the rain.

Now, I think this is just a wondrous idea. I mean, first thing I think of when I’m standing in the middle of a rainstorm with the wind whipping around the umbrella is, "Man, I sure do wish I had a way of holding onto my umbrella so I could text, too. And, then, maybe someone will make a force field, too, that would protect me from oncoming traffic as I stumble rain-blinded and text-addled into the street."

I figure what's coming next on the tech superhighway is an accessory that attaches your i-Thingy to your steering wheel’s airbag. It'll be called In Your Face. That way, when you’re in a head-on collision, you can bang out a text as the airbag explodes. I hear they’re also working on one for commercial airline pilots. “This is your captain texting. LOL.”

A friend of mine came up with another add-on for the Brolly. For ultimate practicality, connect the umbrella to the iPhone and use the umbrella as an antenna for better reception. Also, it could double as a charger for your phone when you’re struck by lightning. Talk about re-usability.

Actually, I’m thinking about taking out a cheap life insurance policy on anyone who buys one of these things. That way, I won’t have to pay much on the premium. I’ll just count on volume. I figure that after a short period of time, they’ll all be entrants in the Darwin Awards.

http://www.gizmag.com/brolly-text-friendly-umbrella/26011/

'til next time... Adios.

Star Spats Part Two-o

(continued from yesterday's post -- Battle Beyond the Stars)

Ah, good ol’ reliable Roger Corman. The cheesemeister himself, whompin' up a cheese casserole.

This movie has it all. Androids. Bad guys. Spaceships. Really bad laser weapon effects. It’s even got a Valkyrie. Oh, yeah, and a cowboy. A space cowboy, no less, played by George Peppard. But, somewhere across the galaxy, he lost his accent, so he sounds like a cowboy from the western fields of Illinois.

All the characters are a patchwork quilt of other characters we’ve seen in other films. They lifted the Robert Vaughn character, Gelt, straight from The Magnificent Seven, where he played the gunfighter-on-the-run, Lee. He also had a smidgen of the Charles Bronson character from Seven thrown in, too. But, the two most bizarre characters had to be that of Peppard as Cowboy (a Han Solo-like character), and Sybil Danning as St. Exmin, a Valkyrie, complete with foam rubber helmet. In the back of my mind I'm hearing Bugs Bunny music -- "Kill de wabbit, kill de wabbit!"

Richard Thomas as Shad (gotta love the characters' names in this souffle) the farmer plays a cross between Luke Skywalker and also a composite of the Mexican villagers in The Magnificent Seven going off to hire the mercenaries. He meets a young woman while on his quest whose father (played by veteran character actor Sam Jaffe), who has a head but a robot body, wants her to procreate with Shad (not enough room or time here to go into that). She's never seen other humans before, other than her father, the robot, so she runs off with Shad. This part is pure Forbidden Planet (1956).

And, the list goes on. The exterior spaceship shots are not too bad, pure Star Wars sequences; sound effects made me think of every late-70's early-80's video game I ever played, with some machine gun sounds for Cowboy's laser (?); the laser effects, well, they really didn't spend much there; and John Saxon as Sador, the bad guy, sported a facial tattoo, that looked really similar to Eric Bana's Nero character in 2009's Star Trek reboot.

All-in-all, it's an absolute hoot. I wouldn't spend much on it, but it's fun just seeing some bad post-Star Wars effects.

'til next time... Adios.

Star Spats

1980. Three years after the original Star Wars (1977) blasted onto the scene, and the knock-offs were coming from everywhere. We had Battlestar Galactica (1978), Galactica 1980 (1980 -- what a coincidence... that's also part of the title.  Talk about creative.), and some clones from overseas, especially Italy and Japan. But, one of the cheesiest, and most entertaining had to be Roger Corman's production Battle Beyond the Stars (1980).

Sliced directly from The Magnificent Seven (1960), but also with parts of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), Star Wars, Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), and perhaps some of George Lucas's THX-1138 (1971) thrown into the mix, it tells the space-western tale of a peaceful planet threatened with destruction by John Saxon. And, so, Richard "John Boy" Thomas must seek out seven laser-totin' hired guns to take care of the baddies. Nah, they didn't take this from The Magnificent Seven at all.

Got started on this one too late tonight. More tomorrow. It's way too much fun.

'til next time... Adios.

Random Misfirings of Neurons

So, I’m sitting here watching everyone on The Weather Channel get all excited about the possible snowfall of historic significance roll up the East Coast. It’s a little sad, though, watching them in their L. L. Bean jackets, carrying their little rulers or yardsticks, waiting/hoping for a massive amount of snow.

I’ve got the sound down on the TV and I’m listening to some jazz from Wiesbaden. I don’t know. It’s just the way my mind works.

Anyway, I got to thinking about the Rat Pack and the Brat Pack.

The Rat Pack, or at least the ones most of us recall in their 1960’s incarnation, consisted of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Joey Bishop, and Peter Lawford, with the main guys being the first three. All those guys stayed active in one venue or another, singing, acting, some kind of performing, pretty much all their lives.

But, what about the Brat Pack?

The core members of the second generation were – Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy. All actors who emerged in the 80’s, primarily in movies such as St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) and The Breakfast Club (1985). So, where are they now?

A few are still around, but many couldn’t quite maintain their 1980’s Power Years. A lot got stuck there in that time period, because that’s how, unfortunately, we still see them, unless they reinvented themselves.

Looks like Anthony Michael Hall is active, as is Rob Lowe. Emilio's working some, just not as steady as in the past. I really miss him. Liked his take on Billy the Kid way back when in Young Guns (1988). Andrew McCarthy's still working, with one movie currently in post-production, another in pre-production. Demi's active, but the last thing memorable I saw her in was G. I. Jane (1997). Judd Nelson's working, just not in anything I've seen him in. Molly Ringwald is getting regular TV work. And, Ally Sheedy's been working some, just not as much as in the past.

What would be fun is a Brat Pack Reunion. Before we all get too old. But, what's needed is one with a different spin. Not a weepy melodrama. Needs to be a comedy. At any rate, I'd like to see them gathered together again.

Well, I've rambled enough for today. One more check on The Weather Channel before closing, though. Got to wonder if they're pushing the snow show a little hard. Interesting they're Tracking Nemo. More like Finding Nemo, as in, where is it? Yeah, they've got some snow, but hey, it's the Northeast.

I'm outta here.

'til next time... Adios.

Romero. George Romero.

2 days ago, on February 4^th, George Romero celebrated his 74^th birthday. Wonder if he celebrated by drinking a zombie (three different kinds of rum, assorted fruit juices…)?

He reminds of Stan Lee a bit, but younger, and is the undisputed father of people-munchin’ zombies, beginning with his classic, Night of the Living Dead in 1968, shot on a budget of somewhere around $100,000.

I’ve only seen two or three of his Dead series. I know Night of the Living Dead had slow zombies. Wonder if he sped ‘em up later on? Perhaps he knows what got them moving so fast in later years.

His most recent film, a documentary titled Into the Dark: Exploring the Horror Film, is supposedly in post-production, with Mr. Romero as executive producer. This one I definitely want to see.

So, a belated, undead tip o' the brain to George Romero. Happy birthday, George!

And, in celebration of his birthday, here's a little zombie trivia for all you ghouls out there.

Oh, and here's a question for anyone, 'cause I really don't know. What's the difference between a ghoul and zombie. I'd like to know. Leave comments, please.

1. Zombies are tough. Usually it takes a blow or shot to the head to get rid of 'em.

2. If surrounded by a batch of zombies, try shuffling and walking slowly. That may buy you some time.

3. During zombie outbreaks, avoid malls. Zombies love malls.

4. How do you know if you're a zombie? You've developed a sudden craving for scrambled eggs and brains. Without the scrambled eggs.

Oh, and one final note. In last night's post, I said that the role of Dr. Moreau was Charles Laughton's first U.S. starring role. It was actually his second, having appeared in a film titled Payment Deferred, released November 7th, 1932.

'til next time... Adios.

Classic Horror Film Club

I love watching our old classic horror films. Some are creepy, or comical, mysterious, or exciting. Many are engrossing. Some are average. But, last night’s movie, The Island of Lost Souls, did something to and for all of us there. And, a record turnout it was. 20 souls all gathered together to watch this incredibly eerie, frightening, disturbing, and entertaining film.

Like a good Hitchcock film, Island did its best work all inside our heads. Implication, suggestion, undertones. Like seeing something out of the corner of your eye. Shot in glorious black-and-white, we never saw any blood that I can recall, although the suggestion was always there. Like a great radio drama, they used sound to maximum advantage. Sounds of human/animal cries shattered my nerves.

But, it’s the story and the actors that brought everything home. Two very fine actors, Charles Laughton, in his first starring role in the U.S.; and, Bela Lugosi, who was at his peak in the U. S. of A., cranking out great films for Universal. It was Laughton’s performance, though, that dominated everything. He was proof that to be frightening you don’t need a loud voice or menacing features.

Island starts off by keeping us off-balance. A supply ship rescues a man from the sea. The captain, a mean drunk of a man, is taking a Noah’s ark collection of animals to some unknown destination. Later we find that destination is to Dr. Moreau's hidden island. And, we see that something about taking those animals to Moreau bothers the captain.

This is not his first trip to the island. And, here is the captain, bothered by whatever the good doctor is involved in. This brutal man who throws the rescued Parker onto the small boat carrying supplies and animals to Moreau’s island, ultimately stranding him on Moreau's island.

So, I’m thinking, here’s this captain, a beast of a man (pun intended), who strands a man that he just rescued. And, if the captain is bothered by whatever Moreau is up to, then how much worse is Moreau himself?

Then, we meet Dr. Moreau. A seemingly cultured man who spoke softly and elegantly. He sipped brandy while strange sounds sliced the night.

Island feels like a mix of Frankenstein (don’t mess with Mother Nature) and Animal Farm (“Four legs bad, two legs good”), both advising is in their own ways to leave well enough alone, and “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. We as two-legged critters tend to think of ourselves as the final word. However, as Dr. Moreau demonstrated, sometimes we’re the monsters, sometimes we’re the beasts.

This film influenced many writers and musicians in the years after its initial release. Think back the the early 80’s, and the New Wave band Devo. What was one of their lines? “Are we not men?”, a line spoken often by Bela Lugosi’s character, Sayer of the Law. Then, Oingo Boingo in their Good for Your Soul album, sang “What is the Law? No spill blood!” And, the list goes on. When Van Halen performed their song “House of Pain” (referring to Moreau’s House of Pain where he performed his gruesome off-screen (fortunately) surgery on the poor creatures), their original version of the song contained lyrics that directly linked to the film.

As I was writing this, I realized, too, that the filmmakers didn’t attempt to show any transformations, even when Lota, the Panther Woman, began her slow change back to her wild state. They only showed the creatures in whatever state or condition they happened to be in at the time. I think they rightly figured that any kind of transformation sequence might cheapen the effect. As it was, the makeup was perfect.

I'm going to have to write more later about this major film. Not done yet. More to say.

But, before I close for the eve, many thanks to Heather and Veronica at the Tates Creek Library for making last night's movie possible. And, thanks to all who attended last night. Our band of Scoobies is growing.

 

Check out our group right here:

http://www.lexpublib.org/location/tates-creek-branch

 

'til next time... Adios.

The Un-learning Channel

Once upon a time, The Learning Channel had a cool logo – a black-and-white image of a tree, perhaps suggesting the “… tree of knowledge”. They billed themselves as “The smart choice on cable”.

So, what happened? Now, I'm not one to point fingers (poke, poke), but when they first cranked up as a public TV station, formed by NASA (yes, the actual NASA), they had educational shows like:

Learn to Read, a program to help adults learn to read.

History programs such as Battles That Changed the World.

Paleoworld, which aired from 1994 to 1997, a 50-episode documentary series about dinosaurs.

And, preschool educational shows, such as Ready, Set, Learn! in 1992.

Then, something happened, and reality set in.

Reality shows, that is. The mid-90’s brought us Trauma: Life in the ER, sensationalist TV thinly disguised as a medical show. I mean, heck, if it has medical-sounding terms like ‘trauma’ and ‘ER’, surely it’ll be educational, right?

Then came Wedding Story and Baby Story. And, now, oh, let's see. What say I do a quick check right now of the ol' TLC schedule (they're not calling themselves The Learning Channel now):

There's Cake Boss: Next Great Baker. And, it looks like we have a mini-marathon of cake bosses.

Tomorrow morning we have 19 Kids and Counting, then later is Make Room for Multiples".

But, for some really good educational programming, tomorrow morning at 10 and 10:30 AM we have back-to-back episodes of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.

Say, have you heard the one about a station that showed cool music videos and... stop me if you've heard this one.

'til next time... Adios.

3-D or Not 3-D, That is the Question

Thought I'd check before I run out on that tree limb again. Merriam-Webster (the online version -- yeah, I suppose if I wanted to do it right, I'd go to my actual paper dictionary) defines a printer as:

a : a person engaged in printing.

b : a device used for printing; especially : a machine for printing from photographic negatives.

c : a device (as an ink-jet printer) that produces printout.

My question is, if a machine pops out an object, but not something with a picture or text on it, is that device a printer?  Moot point now, I suppose.

So, looks like we need to stretch another word, as there's a new product called a 3-D printer. Basically, it takes a model of an object, say, for example, a plastic door handle for your car (the model is represented mathematically by all sorts of equations and stuff), sends it to this thing called a 3-D printer (it's really just a super-fancy mold), and it spits out a brand new door handle.

Now, pardon my dinosaurish-ness again, but, to me, if you're spewing out a physical object like a door handle, that's not printing, but, okay, I'll play along.

So, anyway, this will be a new manufacturing tool. And, guess what one of the first applications will be? Pez dispensers. But not just any old Pez dispensers, no sirree. They'll use this fancy new technology to make a model of your head, and there you'll be, immortalized. On a Pez dispenser.

Is this a great country, or what?

I can hardly wait 'til we get Star Trek-style transporters. Wonder what the first thing is we'll teleport?

You want fries with that?

'til next time... Adios.