Incoming

     And, now, folks it’s time for another episode of Trash that Movie, where I spew out a one or two-sentence Pre-Review before I’ve seen the movie. Yes, I know, it’s not fair, but it sure is a lot of fun. Here we go.

     So, I thought I’d take a quick meander through a couple of web sites that show us about upcoming movies and whether I need to Duck and Cover or make my way to the nearest moving picture show. Here’s a sampling of what we have to look forward to (or not):

· Celeste and Jesse Forever -- directed, acted in, and produced by a Lot of People I don’t know, except for a Hobbit, it seems to be this year’s When Harry Re-Met Sally (Again).

· The Babymakers – More people I don’t know who can’t have kids, and they’re planning a sperm bank heist. Nope.

     Okay, that’s a sample of two that are coming out in the next couple of months that I will absolutely not waste good popcorn on. What else we got?
     Looks like August is the month of The movies – The Campaign, The Awakening, The Day…. Let’s see what The Victim is about.

· The Victim – Michael Biehn stands in the center of the poster, big axe in his hands, apparently protecting two attractive, skimpily-clad young women standing behind him. Let’s see… axe, in the woods, lots of blood, possibly some nudity, maybe sex. Nah, this one has never been done before. I know who the victims are here, and it’s no one in the movie.

· Flying Swords of Dragon Gate – Yes, Weedeater, it is time for another chapter of Leaping Frog, Running Lizard. Haven’t even checked out the plot yet, but I’m betting there’s a whole lot of treetop-level wireline flying monkey stuff. Probably a couple of rivals teaming up, maybe a princess, and, oh, I don’t know, how about a Forbidden City. Haven’t seen an old blind master for a while, maybe they’ll throw one in. Tell me if I’m wrong.

     Okay, well, that sure was fun. Now, please understand that I have nothing against these movies (well, at least I have nothing against some of these movies). And, I might even see one of them. Maybe. I have not seen these films, and perhaps you really want to see them. Which is cool. It’s just that you won’t see me there. Except at Celeste and Jesse Forever, which sounds like a really great movie. No, really, it does (no, I did not just snicker). Really.