Pardon me while I wax
sentimental here. But, did something happen between, oh, I don’t
know, A Christmas Story, or even National Lampoon’s
Christmas Vacation and now? Yes, I know, it’s a rhetorical
question. But, how did we get to Holiday in Handcuffs? Or The
Twelve Dates of Christmas?
Here’s a brief, brief
rundown of Handcuffs. Melissa Joan Hart/kidnapping at
gunpoint/weirdly strange family get-together/everyone ends up happy.
There was talk of a sequel, but really, how do you top this one?
The Twelve Dates of
Christmas has Amy Smart reliving her Christmas Eve date twelve
times. Now, there’s an original idea.
Just so you know, there are
a blue gazillion of these out there.
Yes, I’ll be the first to
admit, I’m an old softie, especially when it comes to Christmas
movies and specials (although I do have a special fondness for Billy
Bob Thornton’s Bad Santa). I have to watch A Charlie
Brown Christmas and Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole
Christmas! (the animated one) every year. I’ll listen to
Christmas carols on the radio ‘til I’m sick of them (so I have to
pace myself by listening to some Pink Floyd or a little jazz). I have
some of my favorite lines form It’s a Wonderful Life (My
mouth’s bleeding, Bert!) and either the Alistair Sim or the Mister
Magoo version of "A Christmas Carol" (God bless us,
everyone); then, there’s A White Christmas or the companion
movie, Holiday Inn. Yep, love ‘em all. Sitting there with my
wife and cats, drinking eggnog (no bourbon, please).
But, now, Hallmark channel
and one other have gone all Syfy channel by cranking out any kind of
variation of a Christmas-themed movie. There always has to be a
crisis that’s solved by either elves, magic, or the Big Guy himself
(Santa). Or, just plain old-fashioned hard work. I know, I’m not
being fair, as I haven’t watched any of these new films. But, it
just has the feeling of them selling a product to me. And, perhaps
they’re actually good. But, with titles like Holiday in Handcuffs,
well…
For me, as Charlie Brown
says in timeless fashion, “Linus is right; I won’t
let all this commercialism ruin my Christmas."
‘til next time… Adios.
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